Recently, Michelle Williams hopped on Twitter with a question for her followers.
It immediately reminded me of a clip I saw from Melissa and Kevin Fredericks’ Love Hour podcast in which she shared that even on her wedding day, she wasn’t sure her husband Kevin, was the one.
“We had a really good courtship so to speak so I didn’t have any alarming red flags. I was never one of those young girls that ‘Marriage was the dream and ultimate goal.’ So, when Kev proposed. I was like, ‘I love him but do I know he’s the one?’ I didn’t know. I didn’t. I didn’t know. I think that’s like an honest answer. The truth is, I didn’t know. On my wedding day, while there were no red flags like he’s a bad guy and you shouldn’t get married to him. I also didn’t have like this amazing sign like, ‘He is the one.’ I just felt like I could be happy with this guy. But I feel like now, at the end of the day, as much as we want to romanticize love, it’s a risk. I felt like I was taking this risk but it wasn’t an irresponsible risk. I feel like now that we are 15 years married, 20 years together, I feel more sure of the decision I made on my wedding day, 15 years, than I was ever sure on the day that I said, ‘I do.’ I would much rather be sure today than be 100 percent sure the day I said I do and two or three years in questioning my entire existence because this isn’t what I thought I signed up…But on the day I said I do, I was taking a risk.”
It’s a sentiment Jada Pinkett Smith echoed on “Red Table Talk,” sharing that people shouldn’t even have big wedding celebrations until they’ve been married for 20 years. Because that is when you’re sure.
I agree that you don’t ever really know. We don’t know what we’ll face and what types of characters flaws, which relationship and childhood traumas will be unearthed by living and partnering with another person—for life. I do think there is something to be said about intuition and the feeling that someone is meant to be in your life. But that doesn’t guarantee that you’ll be together until one or both of you die. It could just mean that that person was meant to teach you something about yourself for a particular time period. We tend to think of divorces as failed relationships when in actuality they may have served their purpose and need to end. And quiet as it’s kept, you can love, honor and cherish someone without being legally married. But that’s another topic for another day.
See what other people had to say about Williams’ question on the following pages.